*Language Warning*
My neighbour is a zombie. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before. I guess you just don’t expect to see this kind of thing in the white-walled safety of suburbia.
It happened gradually, not like you see in the movies. Ed slowed down, sure, started looking a little sickly. It did seem like something was off with him the last time I saw him, what with the stumbling gait and blank look in his eye. I just thought maybe he was having a bad day. I had no idea that he had been bitten by a rotting half-carcass.
How did he even come in contact with one of those things anyway? He always seemed so respectable, clean cut; the go-to-work-and-come-straight-home kind.
I guess nobody really knows their neighbours.
Ed likes to wash his car on Saturday mornings. I can see him through my window most weekends, scrubbing and hosing and waxing. This morning he was out there again. I watched him stumble around, bumping into the car, thumping on the hood with his fists. It was a little sad, and a lot creepy.
A lot of folks around here aren’t going to like having a zombie for a neighbour, but you can’t really pick who lives next door.
I don’t care much what he is, as long as he stays off my fucking lawn.
"I guess no one really knows their neighbours" - lol
ReplyDeleteThe scene with the zombiefied neighbour thumping the car when he used to wash it is genius
I think you have just described my previous neighbour. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat last sentence that was preceded by a great piece of flash. Excellent.
I had no idea that he had been bitten by a rotting half-carcass.
ReplyDeleteI love this line so damn much.
And the last one so fucking much.
This was great. Very good to see you back in action!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! Love the narrators cavalier attitude. We can pretty much put up with anything, as long as it doesn't stumble into our comfort zone..or wreck the grass. hehe Good one!
ReplyDeleteYikes! I enjoyed the normal details of this setting, with that one little glitch...your neighbor is a zombie! Something about seeing him outside in the morning, stumbling around and angry creeped me out.
ReplyDelete*snerk!* Fantastic last line. Just nails it. :)
ReplyDeleteOh my god...I burst out laughing at that last line. Awesome!!! Love the image of the zombie trying to wash the car too. Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteReally excellent piece, made me laugh, especially that killer last line.
ReplyDeleteYour language warning is so cute, and majorly induces guilt in me for not using when I post the f*bomb. Peace...
Great flash story, Laurita :)
ReplyDeleteClassic final line. Sums up life in suburbia, don't you think? On garbage day, the seagulls would be picking the flesh from his rotting carcass...
Classic "Not In My Backyard" thinking. This all worked so well, the premise, the voice, your writing, and the last line nailed it. Like V.R. Leavitt, I laughed out loud at the last line, too, but I was already snickering at the car wash scene. ~ Olivia
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good, I'm reading along, great to see Laurita back, she's such a good writer, yeah, yeah... get to last line...SNORT COFFEE OUT MY NOSE.
ReplyDeleteLanguage warning? Girl, you gotta get a SNORT warning if you're gonna write like that!
BEAUTY!
As usual Laurita, you amaze me with what you can do with so few words. Some great lines here.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back!
Good fences make good neighbors, right?
ReplyDeleteJump back! Whoa, zombiliscious!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the car scene, I think that's my favourite part. But it just left me wondering what the narrator will say to himself when the neighbour starts chewing on other people...
ReplyDeleteThe last line made me snicker, too.
Sensational flash, Laurita. Zombie car wash - I can just imagine the new dance craze!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh this morning...
your property values are going to plummet.
ReplyDeletevery clever.
This is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI know how some people just love their lawns in suburbia, what with all the weeding and mowing and planting that goes into keeping them beautiful.
That's why the last line brings a laugh aloud moment for me.
And the word verification for me on your blog is "crabb"!
Don't want that kind of grass. :)
This is great! Sounds like what's been happening in some of the neighborhoods I live in. Personally, I worry more about the people who seem energetic and perfect as being zombies than the ones who actually look and act like the undead.
ReplyDeleteI love the subtext in this Laurita...
ReplyDeleteLoved the whole story, but especially the last line. That's pretty much how I'd feel, too, if a zombie lived next door.
ReplyDeleteStill sniggering over the first two sentences, let alone what followed! Yeah, it actually sounded like a couple of guys in my street, too, on a bad day. But the last line... all I could think of was 'oh no, zombie droppings!', not something I've ever thought of before.
ReplyDelete"It was a little sad, and a lot creepy." Funny stuff Laurita!
ReplyDeleteThe funniest thing I've ever read by you. If I stay off the lawn and just shake my fists while stumbling into stuff, can I come visit?
ReplyDeleteReally great story. Sometimes I wonder about my neighbors, too...
ReplyDeleteThoroughly enjoyed this. Brilliant writing.
Great story, pulls you right in.
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty funny, i can just see the dude out thre washing the car, in the way you discrbe him.
ReplyDeleteThanks
So I'm late to the party and everything I'd say has been said. Ah what the hell. great flash, Laurita, the opening, the middle, the ending, all worked in tandem to produce a true to life gem. Now, I don't snigger, snort or even snerk when I read, but I do smile and sometimes a chuckle will escape and run madly for my coffee. That happened here. Two tissues later and I'm commenting like a schoolboy.
ReplyDeleteThat's possibly the best zombie flash I've ever read, Laurita. (And I like zombie flash!)
ReplyDeleteI'm still giggling over the last line, and the visual of washing the car is wonderful.
Well done!
I. Love. This.
ReplyDeleteSo much so that I posted a response on my blog.
Not nearly as good as yours but I took the POV of the zombie neighbour.
Ha ha ha! I liked that one, Laurita. I don't usually like zombies, but I liked yours!
ReplyDeleteYes because there's nothing worse than an outbreak of zombies on your lawn.
ReplyDeleteLaugh out loud funny.
:0)
Here is the link to my 'response' to your Zombie flash.
ReplyDeletehttp://mymentalpicture.blogspot.com/2010/06/from-zombie-next-door.html
Love your story.
verification word reffain...saying it like a zombie.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeffffffffffaaaiiin