That’s what started it all off a few months ago. It sounds
scary right, like my whole mouth was just going to collapse in on itself. The
only way to prevent total mouth implosion: Braces.
After two months of some sort of plastic and wire device
that worked like a rack for my teeth, I was ready for the big guns. There’d be
some pain, the dentist told me. I should be prepared for about a week of
extreme discomfort.
Ha! Discomfort. Nothing I couldn’t handle, I thought. My
pain threshold is huge. I’d given birth to three kids without any pain killers.
I was tough, right. Tough.
OhsweetmercifulgentlesufferingmotherofM o s e s…
I failed to take two things into account:
1) With
childbirth there was an end in sight. A few hours tops. And…
2) It didn’t
happen in my mouth.
Having the braces put on was just the start of it. Two hours
of scrape, scrape, dab, dab, pluck, pull, push, thunk, whirr, whoosh, yank...I
didn’t think there’d be a tooth left in my head to put anything on. But finally
they were done, and the real fun began.
It looks like a torture device in my mouth, and feels like
it too. I swear if you asked me to talk right now I’d spill all my dirty
secrets. Just show me the pliers and promise me you’ll use them to rip these
things out of my mouth once I’m done.
I went out to the bus stop with the kids this morning and
took just one breath of frosty cold air when panic set in. What if my lips
froze to my teeth? I’d be like that kid in A Christmas Story, only the pole
wasn’t permanently attached to him. I’d be rescued by the fire department only
to find myself stuck again on the next breath.
I guess it won’t be so bad. The pain will ease off.
Eventually. I hope. In the end my teeth will look good, and my jaw won’t fall
off, so that’s something. Also, they make me look younger. Much younger. All I
need is a few Justin Beiber posters on my wall to complete the transformation
into an eighth grader.
In the meantime, I’m amusing myself by pretending to be the
mouth of Sauron, and scaring the neighbourhood children with my grin.
I don’t think I can go a year and a half without laughing,
so just make sure you don’t look directly into my face when I do. If you
thought my smile was dazzling before, you should see it now, especially in a
bright light.
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, I'm sorry Laurita, but this is FUNNY!!!!! At least you can manage humour while your bite is imploding and the Canadian National Railway has set up tracks in your pie-hole. (heheheheh - sorry - still laughing... Justin Bieber... heheheheheh!!!!!) Take some tylenol, lots of it, and here's a great big HUG! xoxox
ReplyDelete*runs away laughing*
Oh man .. the adult braces. All I can tell you is that I know adults who went through it and their teeth are gorgeous now. It's worth it. Hang in there. Cathy..shame on you for laughing.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. Had adult braces in my twenties and lived to tell the tale. Hang being brave. Have the experience for what it is.
ReplyDeleteI think I know how much pain you're in, my wisdom teeth (yes, plural, three of them!) just decided to start growing.
ReplyDeleteThey do so every few months for about a week, s l o o o o o w l y breaking through the gums. My pain threshold is high enough as well, but today I ended up crying from the pain the pressure of blowing my nose provided...
Even though I dislike going to the dentist, I'd get them pulled, I honestly would, except there's nothing to pull yet. Just hope it doesn't last for years.
*huge sympathetic hugs* to you, Laurita
Oh, I remember wisdom tooth pain. It's not fun at all. On the plus side, it's much better to wait until the all come up to get them pulled out. Hugs back at you.
DeleteHi there. Found you on the A-Z list. Good luck with the challenge.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!!! Not your pain of course...so sorry about that part of it, but your sense of humor definitely does not need adjusted :-) Good luck with the whole process & hope the pain subsides soon.
ReplyDeleteHa! Oh, lord...that was funny. :-D I used to have braces as a kid, and yeah...it can really hurt. The worst were the periodical "tightenings," after which my teeth always hurt for a day or two. Of, and the damn metal scraping and cutting the insides of my cheeks. DO they still give you that little white case of wax to put on the sharp edges? :-p
ReplyDeleteDavid's can see the finish line with his after 2+ yrs of adult braces so he's sympathetic to your pain.. His advice is that the day before you know you're going to get them adjusted do 2 things:
ReplyDelete1) eat whatever the hell you want!!
2) stock up on soups and pudding 'cause that's all you're gonna want to be bothered about for a few days.
The pain definitely does dull and relinquish with time. You're almost lucky, in that you could afford this at all - and that your smile still looks so nice!
ReplyDeleteJudging by the picture you've posted, nothing seems ugly to me. Hmm... If you don't want us to see you wholly, Laruita, at least you should have posted the "before and after" smiles. Let us, your viewers, share our piece of mind too.
ReplyDelete