This is the second story in my Downtown series.
The Shop Keeper
She arrived every Thursday at exactly eleven forty-five. He watched and waited until he could see her through the window, then busied himself behind the counter until he heard the door chime.
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She took her payment and lingered expectantly, until he said goodbye.
He kept his eyes on the door until she was out of sight, and began again to count the hours until next Thursday.
Oh I hope he gets the courage to take it a little further next time. After all, she is lingering expectantly.
ReplyDeleteLiked your second Downtown story!
Or she could make the first move. With both of them afraid to speak, they'd be perfect for each other! :)
ReplyDeletevery nice and effective, a perfectly framed snapshot
ReplyDeleteAnd how many Thursdays will go by before the fool notices she's lingering expectantly?
ReplyDeleteThat was a well-written piece that leaves us wanting to hear more about this peculiar relationship.
ReplyDeleteI still prefer the #fridayflash that take fewer words. This short is as sweet as anything I've seen from the writing group today, but in half the time. And it is so sweet - you can taste it when he starts counting.
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ReplyDeleteVery sweet piece, and like Laura says they are too well suited for it not to happen :-)
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And now I'm counting the hours until next Friday!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet set up. You can flesh this out if you wanted. I'd love to see more of what they both look like, what the store looks like. I also want to know how long this infatuation has been going on. Nice piece.
ReplyDeleteLaurita, you are the queen of concise! Super, sweet story, the yearning just pops off the page... Peace, Linda
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Karen:0)
One of them will have to make a move, a comment, drop a note?
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